The Erotic Reset is for you if these dynamics are familliar
You disconnect, zone out, spectate or dissociate during sex & intimacy
You crave connection, but during sexual experiences you feel like you leave; watching from above, going numb, overthinking, or “going along” with the sexual experience just to get it done.
Or perhaps you spectate, an unconscious process, where you feel as though you left your mind & your body somewhere during the sexual encounter.
Your body & words don’t match
You hear yourself repeating phrases like:
”I’m fine”
“I want this”
But the reality is that you find your body bracing, freezing up or wanting to pull away.
Your arousal or capacity for pleasure feels restricted, muted, uncomfortable or painful
It’s not that you don’t want to feel pleasure; You absolute do!
But your body doesn’t facilitate this for you.
Orgasm feels unaccessible & far away, forced or like your body can’t quite “get there” or, fully relax In order to experience pleasure.
You feel as though you have a “Pleasure Hangover” after Sex
Even when the sex wasn’t “bad”, you find yourself feeling numb, flat, anxious, guilty or strangely “empty” after the sexual experience.
You swing between “all or nothing” sexual patterns
Sometimes you’re chasing chemistry & intensity.
Sometimes you completely shut down by avoiding sex or intimacy, or you have an attitude where you feel as though you “could take it or leave it” even, when a part of you still desires authentic & nourishing intimacy.
You feel guilt for “not wanting sex enough” or shame around “wanting sex too much”
You swing between worrying that you’re “broken” or not a sexual being for not desiring sex & judging yourself when you do feel sexually aroused & turned on.
You can talk about sex a lot more easily than actually feeling desire, arousal, pleasure & orgasm
You feel as though you’re sexually experienced; but when it comes to accessing pleasure within your own body, everything suddenly feels complicated, shut down or up of reach.
You find yourself performing sex or intimacy, instead of authentic erotic expression
On the outside, your sex life might look aesthetically appealing, perhaps it looks like you’ve got an expansive sexual repertoire but the reality is in your internal world you’re either faking pleasure, people-pleasing by not respecting your own sexual preferences, desires & fantasies, while honouring your partners, or perhaps playing a sexual or relational. role that you never chose, but one that you unconsciously adopted.
This could be the “cool one”, “the always ready & up for anything lover“ “the sexy one” ”the goddess” or the “one that doesn’t need much”.